Hey kids!
Like pizza? Yes? Then I have some great news for you.
There is one diet that you can be sure will have a profound effect on your body : THE PIZZA DIET.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Pizza is there to nourish your body. I have compiled a list of the top 5 benefits of the pizza diet, JUST FOR YOU.
1) GREASE! Grease is GREAT for cleaning your body out. Eat a piece of greasy pizza before you eat a hamburger and that baby will slide clean through. Your colon will be VERY happy.
2) CHEESE, YAY! The wonders of dairy. It makes your bones super strong. SO strong that you can lift the pizza truck up and toss it into the river when all the pizza is gone.
3) MMM Sauce OR NO SAUCE. Pizzas these days don’t even NEED sauce to be pizzas. You can just dump your dairy dream cheese on some bread and pop it in the oven for I don’t know how the fuck long and then BOOM, PIZZA PARTY!
4) Oh yeah, PIZZA PARTY! I’ve never lost more weight and gained more muscle than when at a pizza party. Your calf muscles will be jacked from jumping up and down with joy. You’ll also be waving your hands high in the air, trying to flag down the pizza guy or gal. Those trapz are going to be so tight you won’t even be able to lift your arms up ever again.
5) Can’t Lift Your Arms Ever Again. If you properly pizza partied, then you won’t be able to move your arms EVER AGAIN! Although that means no more pizza (sad) that also means you can’t lift anything else to your face and you’ll die from malnutrition. The upside? You’ll look great and the last thing you’ll have eaten was pizza! There is clearly no downside!
WELL, there you have it. I gotta go, my doorbell is ringing, I wonder who it could be.
Do you have a super great diet like the one above? How do you nurture a healthy lifestyle like the aforementioned? Tell me in the comments!
BYE I LOVE YOU KISS YOU PIZZA GOODNIGHT FOR ME.
